Have you ever been faced with making some decisions that were incredibly hard to make? My friends, I have, and I know I’m not the only one. When my mother had a massive stroke, she was brain dead (for lack of a better term), and some catastrophic decisions had to be made. Those decisions were laid on my shoulders.
Am I Strong Enough?
The week before this happened, I was having breakfast with my mother, and she asked me this question: “honey, have you ever wondered why I made you Power of Attorney over me?” She answered her own question by saying she knew I was strong enough to do HER will and not my own. Then she told me “honey never let me lay in a vegetable state, never hold on to me when it’s time for me to go home.”
Of course, this is not the conversation we enjoy having with someone we love, but I’m so thankful to God my mother shared this with me just before her massive stroke that occurred seven days later.
During the days after my mother’s stroke, my siblings and I were at the hospital beside her bed, praying for a miracle. I very much believe in miracles, by the grace of God I have experienced them many times in my life. They had mom on a breathing machine, and they were feeding her through a tube that was placed through her stomach.
“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6
Do Not Fear
From the beginning of this trauma, I shared with my family the conversation mother and I had just the week before. Understandably, when your pain is so great, it is hard to listen to the wishes of someone else, and not focus on your own desires.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.
Isaiah 41:10
The doctor knew I was having an extraordinarily hard time; I had different voices around me, telling me what I should do, while my own heart was breaking. You see, the final decision was mine. There was this piece of paper that gave me Power of Attorney to speak over my mother when she couldn’t speak for herself. But she did speak already, didn’t she?
The doctor took me to look at my mother’s brain scan “again” early that Friday morning, and as he spoke, her words rung out to me; “honey have you ever wondered why I made you Power of Attorney over me? You are strong enough to do my will and not your own, honey never let me lay in a vegetable state, never hold on to me when it’s time for me to go home”.
No matter what we go through in life, God is always there. God is never blindsided or caught off guard. In His goodness, He let me know my mother’s wishes just a week before her stroke. At that moment when I was handed the release to sign, I was able to hear her voice over the voices around me, and the voice of my own broken heart.
Homecoming
My precious mother went home early on Easter day, which also happened to be my oldest son’s birthday. My perspective on this scenario could have been negative, but I asked God to please give me His. As my son embraced me with hurt in his eyes, I said, son what a beautiful day for celebration, on your birthday, and on Easter, Memaw got to go home! Son today is the happiest day of the rest of her life!
Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
God, Our Alpha and Omega
God, knowing the beginning to the end, orchestrated these events so that one week before my mother’s stroke, she was able to give me clear directions on what I was supposed to do; I was supposed to carry out her final wishes.
What an amazing God we serve!!!
It doesn’t matter what you are facing or what decisions are laid on your shoulders. God is the Alpha and Omega. God knows the beginning from the end. You never face any decision alone. God goes with you, strengthening you and helping you, giving you the wisdom, insight, and direction you need.
Tammie Beyer
