From No to Next: Harnessing Rejection for Success

Have you ever felt rejection? Have you ever felt like you aren’t good enough? Have you ever just felt like everything you do isn’t good enough? Me too, I’ve felt rejection in so many forms. It’s hard to understand or know why there is rejection. Why do we have to go through it? Let’s talk about it. What is rejection and why does it exist? 

What is rejection? 

Rejection is used most commonly as a verb. To refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose, or use. To refuse to hear, receive or admit. It can also be used as a noun – a rejected person or thing, especially one rejected as not wanted, unsatisfactory, or not fulfilling requirements.  

Wow, those definitions cause a little bit of fear to come in. Let’s explore how we can shut down that fear and harness that rejection for success.  

Examples of Rejection 

Examples of rejection that you might have had or dealt with are:

Rejection from a job you applied to

Rejection from not getting the promotion you wanted

Rejection from not getting into the college you wanted

Rejection from your spouse

Rejection from someone you were interested in dating

Rejection from not being chosen by the friend group you wanted to be a part of

Rejection from not being picked for a sport or a team you wanted

Rejection happens all the time. Rejection is a part of life that we learn to move on from. We learn to not sit in the rejection.  

When you apply for that job, sometimes there is someone that has more qualifications and the company has to choose the best person for the job. Someone will lose out. Being a manager, it is hard to make the decision of who to pick. Same with the promotion, the boss or company has to pick who is best for the company overall. That should give you the passion to work harder to show them why you are the best person for the job. Colleges have a certain number of slots to fill, they can’t accept everyone, so someone will get rejected. Sports teams and other teams also have only a certain number of spots they can fill. So that means, they have to make the decision to reject some.  

Rejection from a spouse or in dating or not being accepted into a friend group are examples of rejection that we can feel personally attacked. I know I have; I’ve dealt with all of this. These are rejections that can touch you to the core. Because it makes you wonder what is wrong with you. What did you do? Why aren’t you good enough? Why does it always happen this way? Why, why, why? These rejections can make us doubt who we are and retreat into our own thoughts. We cannot let these rejections hold us down. What do you do when you aren’t accepted into that friend group you wanted? You stop and take a step back, and ask God what would’ve happened if I was accepted into that group? Would it have changed who I was? Would I have felt accepted but still alone? Who do you want me to surround myself with? What about that person you really liked and thought there was a connection with, but they turned you down? What do you do? Do you sit in sadness and think, what is wrong with me? No, you get up and recognize that wasn’t the person God has for you. You recognize someone better is still out there. Just because you go on a date, doesn’t mean you are soulmates. It is step one into finding your person. I’ve gone to God and said, “But God, I really liked him, we really connected, we had great conversation. Why not?” You know what the answer I got was? “I’ve something better for you.” Did it hurt? Yes. Did I like God’s answer in that moment? No. Did I accept his answer? Of course I did. Now what do you do if you are rejected by your spouse? Do you reject them right back, because they hurt you and so you will hurt them? No, go to them and ask them what is wrong. Communicate with them, find out what is happening and what is going on. When you are married, husband and wives have to put in an equal amount of work to each other. And the biggest thing is communication. If communication stops, then thoughts come in. And then those thoughts spiral out of control downward. You have a responsibility to yourself and your spouse to communicate with them and fix what is going on. Is it hard? Yes. It is going to take time? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely! 

What? It is necessary? 

Did you know that rejection is necessary? Stay with me here, I know that doesn’t make any sense. Let me explain. I was reading about rejection and came across a blog called “The Surprising Benefits of Dealing with Rejection.” These are a few things I found from that blog. “Rejection provides perspective.” Maybe that wasn’t the place where you were supposed to be.  

“Rejection teaches you patience.” Yes, I said patience. It makes you stop and wait for the right thing. The right job, the right friends, the right spouse, the right team. Patience is a virtue and so many times we want it now. But if we get it now, what are we giving up? 

“Rejection opens the door for another opportunity.” Let’s say you are accepted for that first job, and you take it right away. But wait, another opportunity opens up and you realize that it was a better job with better benefits and better pay, but you are already in the other job. Now what do you do? If you had been rejected from the first job, you would’ve learned patience and waited for that other door to open.  

Did rejection stop Jesus? 

Did you know that Jesus was rejected?  

He was rejected by His family; we see that in John 1:11 NLT “He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.” 

He was rejected by the leaders; we see that in Luke 9:22 NLT “The Son of Man must suffer many terrible things,” he said. “He will be rejected by the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He will be killed, but on the third day he will be raised from the dead.” 

He was rejected by His generation; we see that in Luke 17:25 NLT “But first the Son of Man must suffer terribly and be rejected by this generation.” 

Even though Jesus was rejected, that didn’t stop Him from completing the work He was sent to do. To save us. Jesus took on all this rejection, so we don’t have to. He saved us from all of it. Jesus is a great example of how to persevere through times of rejection and how to stay strong when all the world seems to be against you.  

Jesus overcame and so can we!!! 

In 1 Peter 2:4-9 NLT, it says; You are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God’s temple. He was rejected by people, but he was chosen by God for great honor. And you are living stones that God is building into his spiritual temple. What’s more, you are his holy priests. Through the mediation of Jesus Christ, you offer spiritual sacrifices that please God.  As the Scriptures say,  

“I am placing a cornerstone in Jerusalem, chosen for great honor, and anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.”  

Yes, you who trust him recognize the honor God has given him. But for those who reject him, 

“The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.”  

And,  

“He is the stone that makes people stumble, the rock that makes them fall.”  

They stumble because they do not obey God’s word, and so they meet the fate that was planned for them. But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 

Jesus shows us how to overcome and persevere through rejection. We also learn that even though we are rejected by man, in whatever form that looks like for you, you are still accepted by God. God says, you are enough! God says, you are special! God says, you are His! God chose you! God wants you! God doesn’t care what the world or man says about you. He just wants you! He wants you to give all the rejection to Him. Trust fully in Him and get in His word and find out what else He wants to teach you.