Have you ever felt like you were alone and did not have any friends? I understand that feeling. I was so dependent on my spouse that I did not think I needed anyone outside of him. This is extremely far from the truth. Everyone needs a posse!
The Bible, on several occasions, tells us how important friendship is.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
So why is having friends so important?
Reason #1: Friendship Keeps Each Other Accountable
Galatians 6:1-3 NLT, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”
Proverbs 12:26 NLT, “The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.”
Proverbs 17:17 NLT, “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not
neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
James 5:16 NLT, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
As friends we share our lives with each other. We should expect our friends to hold us accountable for things we do that might not be right. We should expect our friends to call us out if we do something wrong. As friends we don’t call them out in a harmful way. As it says in Galatians 6:1, gently and humbly help our friend back onto the right path. A friend that helps you in a gentle and humble way can earn the spot of family. I have grown to love my friends. Those girls are my sisters, and we hold each other accountable. We let each other speak into our lives. My friends help me stay on track. They help me find my purpose. They guide me when I don’t know what to do. They lead me back to God when I get too far away.
Reason #2: Friends Forgive Each Other Faults
Colossians 3:13 NLT, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
James 1:19 NLT, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”
When a friend has fallen into sin and is doing the wrong thing. It is easy to get offended and hurt by the things they are saying. Especially when you are trying to help them. Friends need to remember that the other person is trying to help them and the same way the friend that is trying to help, needs to understand that sometimes the other person is speaking in anger because they are hurt. People on both sides need to be slow to speak and to get angry. Take a moment and step back and listen to what is being said. Truly listen to what each other is saying and forgive each other when things are said that hurt.
Reason #3 Friends Are There for Comfort
Job 2:11-13 NLT, “When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him. Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.”
1 Samuel 23:16 NLT, “Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God.”
2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
Romans 1:12 NLT, “When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.”
Romans 15:2 NLT, “We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord.”
Our friends aren’t just there to guide us and correct us. Our friends are there to help us in times of need. Job’s friends came to his side because he needed them. They were so grieved at the state he was in. They sat with him for seven days and nights and were just there. They didn’t need to talk about it. They just needed to be there. Sometimes, we as friends just need to be there. We need to just hold each other up. Not too long ago, I needed my friends to do that for me. As I physically broke, they physically held me up. They circled me as I crumbled almost to the ground in grief, but they were right there with me. And held me up as I cried out. That was exactly what I needed at that moment. They knew exactly what I needed because they knew me. Friends aren’t just people you see at church or at work, friends are people you do life with. Building real friendships and real relationships takes work. They aren’t just going to fall into your lap, you have to put yourself out there. You have to schedule the lunch dates, schedule the coffee talks, schedule the day of window shopping. Schedule to just hang out.
Matthew 18:20 NLT, “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
Friends need each other, we physically need to gather together. We can’t just be holed up on social media or online. You have to try and put your heart into it. When we gather together, we get to know each other. We are no longer hiding behind a phone or a computer. We are living in the moment and being spontaneous in our actions and responses. And when you are with someone or “many” someones, God is there with you all. When we are by ourselves, it can be hard to stay connected to God. It can be hard, especially when we are struggling internally. We need our friends to be there to guide us, encourage us, hold us up, and correct us when we need it.
In Proverbs 27:17 NLT, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
Friends are vital to our lives. Friends might look different during each stage of our lives. I have one friend that I’ve had since 7th grade. But she is the only person I still talk to from high school. Even though we don’t talk maybe once a year, we are still there for each other. I have another friend that I had at a previous job. She is the only one I still talk to from there, even though others were my friends as well. She was my closest friend during that time, and we walked through life together. I have had so many friends move to other states, and even though we don’t talk all the time, I’m still glad they were there for me when I needed them. I know, even though we are states away from each other that if I needed them, they would be just a phone call away, and they know the same goes for me. All they have to do is pick up the phone, and I’m there. Your friend group is going to change throughout your life, and sometimes those changes hurt. Sometimes, those friends are only there for a season, and sometimes, those friends are there for a lifetime. You need friends to help you through the difficult times and the joyous times. Friends are so important to our lives.
To sum this all up, friends keep us accountable, friends forgive us, and friends comfort us. There are several other verses and reasons in the Bible that explain the importance of friends. These reasons are the ones that have stood out to me. The people that have come through my life have all been there for a reason. They all helped me in one way or another. They are vital to my story. What is your story? Who is your posse?
Christie Coffman
I have attended CommonGround church for the past 12 years and am thankful for the first day that I stepped inside its doors. Through the leadership of the church I have grown so much in my walk with Jesus. I have gone deeper and I have matured so much. I continue to grow and look forward to go deeper in my love for God. I have a passion for serving people and God. I have been a part of many teams; kids, coffee bar, greeting, food pantry, women’s leadership, prayer team. I currently serve in the 4-5 yr old room in CG lil’ Kids, Prayer team and Intercessory Prayer team, and part of the Women’s Leadership team. I have the pleasure of running the cleaning team for the church. I’ve enjoyed that for the past 11 years.
I work at Tulsa Public Schools, Child Nutrition department in charge of Free/reduced meals and the IT things of Child Nutrition. My daughter, Aspen, graduated from Will Rogers High School in May and also from Tulsa Tech with a photography degree. She is strong and mighty and going to do amazing things. I have also have two step sons, that are grown with families. They are U.S. Marines and I couldn’t be prouder of them.
I enjoy crafting, hanging out with friends, hiking, listening to worship music and spending time with Jesus.
Jeremiah 29:13, You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with your whole heart.