Recently I had the opportunity to serve at a beautiful event! It was a big undertaking and took lots of planning. It needed many hands to do the work so schedules were made and jobs delegated to make sure it went off without a hitch. But when the time for the big event came, some people did not fulfill their responsibility or come through in their commitment to help. Instead, they came and enjoyed the event, and allowed a few to bear all the pressure and to do all the work, without even an acknowledgement or a thank you. It was hurtful. I felt taken advantage of. It wasn’t right or just. In the days that followed, I found myself dwelling on the incident, growing angry and resentful. I began to share my frustration with how things went down with close friends and family. It felt good to vent the particulars that wronged me. I think I wanted others to acknowledge the injustice. Or maybe I wanted sympathy for the burden I had born-taking up the slack at this event, at my own personal expense. I began to wake up at night replaying the particulars. And as the days passed, I began to find myself dwelling more on the hurts than on the wonderful event that I got to be a part of. I could feel a root of bitterness beginning to grow and choke out my joy, my character, and to crush my heart.
Have you ever seen a rogue vine that has twisted around an object so much that you can no longer recognize what it has twisted around? Honeysuckle, orange trumpet vine, morning glories, cypress vines, wisteria – all of these are vine plants that have beautiful flowers. They are lovely blooming on a fence, trellis or pergola. But if they are not monitored and trained to stay on those designated places, they will travel and attach their growing vines to whatever is closest and then wind and wind around it until the object it is covering is unrecognizable. If that object happens to be another plant (something with life), it will choke it to death like a boa constrictor does its victim of prey.
Hebrews 12:15 TPT says:
“Watch over each other to make sure that no one misses the revelation of God’s grace. And make sure no one lives with a root of bitterness sprouting within them which will only cause trouble and poison the hearts of many.”
The AMPC version says it like this:
“Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it.”
I can honestly say, I was experiencing bitter torment and I felt graceless, and at times unrecognizable to myself. I started to witness the contamination as a person I had shared my discontent with, began to say the very things that I had said back to me, sharing their protective resentment for me. Instead of feeling vindicated, I felt shame, that I had verbalized my bitterness and had now influenced the opinion of this trusted friend. It was a little like hearing your toddler repeat something ugly you’ve said in private. Hearing someone say back to you something unforgiving that you said about someone else is quite humbling.
So, what is the antidote for a bitter spirit?
In his devotional “Don’t let Bitterness Kill You”, Vijay Thangiah says “The only counteracting remedy for bitterness comes from a tree.” He reminds us about the story in Exodus 15:22-26 where the newly wandering Israelites have been looking for water in the desert for 3 days, and finally come to a water source, only to find that the water is bitter and undrinkable. Moses cries out to God for help and God shows him a tree. Moses threw the tree in the bitter water, and the waters became sweet.
When bitterness threatens to take root and its strangling vines start to grow, cry out to the Lord for help. He will lead you to a tree in the shape of a cross. When the grace of the cross is thrown into bitter waters, they will become sweet again. When our hearts remember the grace God so freely gave, how can we give anything less to others?
“But Christ proved God’s passionate love for us by dying in our place while we were still lost and ungodly!” Romans 5:8 TPT
Wow! God gave His gift of grace by way of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross before we earned it or deserved it or even knew we needed it. 2 Corinthians 5:21 NIRV says:
“Christ didn’t have any sin. But God made him become sin for us. So we can be made right with God because of what Christ has done for us.”
How is this justice?! It’s not. It’s grace. It’s mercy. It’s forgiveness. And this is the antidote to bitterness—remembering the greatness of our forgiveness through Jesus. When we use this antidote, we can live out the seemingly impossible charge of Matthew 5:39 AMP:
“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person [who insults you or violates your rights]; but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other toward him also [simply ignore insignificant insults or trivial losses and do not bother to retaliate—maintain your dignity, your self-respect, your poise].”
The thing about bitterness and resentment is that it hurts us, more than the person we are offended by. Its vine wraps around and around your heart (if you allow it to grow) until it chokes the life right out of you-not the offender. No wonder Paul charges us to not allow even a root of bitterness to be in our lives that could sprout. I learned this the hard way and am so thankful that God showed me the antidote when I cried out to Him for help.
“For if you forgive people their trespasses (their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment), your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14 AMPC
Written by Kim Hughes
