OFFENDED? ME? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

What happens when a person is offended in a church and that offense is never dealt with? That offense takes over and the devil has succeeded at his job. He has caused that person to move out of the will of God. And that person will move on to the next church still harboring that offense and never growing up and maturing spiritually. God has put us in a specific place for a reason. The devil is going to try and move us from the will of God. He doesn’t want us to grow. He wants to keep us hurt and buried so we don’t fulfill the will of God for our lives. He knows if we were to fulfill God’s will more souls (people) would come to God, and he would lose another person. The devil wants to have more than God. That is his end goal. This is just a game to him. He is like a child that wants everything all to himself. We are not a game to God. We are His children, and He is our Father.  

DON’T GO

I have been reading The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. In Chapter 5, one of the sections is titled “Churches aren’t cafeterias.” A few things stuck out to me like, you are not the one who chooses where you go to church. God does! The Bible does not say, God, has set the members each one of them, in the body just as they, please. It says in 1 Corinthians 12:18, emphasis added.  

“Remember that, if you’re in the place where God wants you, the devil will try to offend you to get you out. He wants to uproot men and women from the place where God plants them. If he can get you out, he has been successful. If you will not budge, even in the midst of great conflict, you will spoil his plans.” I’ve been in my church for 13 or more years. I have thought of leaving because all my people moved away. I didn’t always agree with everything that was said, but I stayed. I know deep in my spirit that God hasn’t released me to leave. I clearly know what it feels like when God has given me a release. With my faithfulness to stay, I have grown so much under the leadership God has put me under. I mean, I would never even dream I would be writing a blog, but here I am! The people that I have been surrounded by and am surrounded by, I know are my people. They have been there and held me up in my hardest times. Our friendships are so strong and so powerful. All because I stayed faithful to where God has planted me.  

STAY STRONG

In chapter 8, I came across the story of Peter and his faith. It talked about how Peter was the most confident and how he had received the knowledge of who Jesus was. He was so strong in his faith. But then it talks about the trial Peter has to endure where he denies Jesus. In the chapter, it states, “that in our culture today we as believers would recognize an attack coming to our beloved friend and we would immediately start praying against the attack. But Jesus didn’t do that.” In Luke 22:31, Jesus said to Peter, Satan has asked for you. So, he could shake you and sift you. In Luke 22:32  Jesus said, I prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to me, strengthen your brethren.’ We see that Peter needs to go through this test and trial so he will grow stronger. So, his faith will grow. Peter had to endure this. Maybe sometimes we have to endure trials and tests. Maybe sometimes we need to be reminded who is our source. Who do we put our faith in, God or ourselves? Yes, no one likes coming up against trials and tests. But maybe we should change how we see them. Instead of saying, “Oh God! Why have you let this happen to me?” Why don’t we say, “Ok God, you are my source and my foundation? I’m going to completely rely on you. I’m giving you this trial. I’m putting it in your hands. I can’t do this in my own strength. But only through your guidance and power.” Then we thank Him for helping us to be strong and courageous. So many times, we blame him, and we become offended for no reason. Look at the situation from a different perspective. What is God trying to teach you? What change needs to happen in you? What is the lesson or growth you are supposed to receive in this test? 

MY PRIVILEGE

Chapter 10, talks about how Jesus came to serve others. He did not come to be served. It was his privilege to serve us. Matthew 20:26-28, shortened, says,  

Galatians 5:13  says, 

 John Bevere states, “Another word for liberty is privilege. Liberty (privilege) is to be used to serve others. There is freedom in serving but bondage in slavery. A slave is one who has to serve, while a servant is one who lives to serve.” Here are some differences that John Bevere describes….

 As I look at these differences, I think about why do people get offended while they are serving. What is their motivation behind serving? Have they truly been taught what it looks like to serve? Let’s say your motivation is right but offense still comes. Do you go to that person that caused the offense to talk to them? Do you feel that because they are the ones who caused the offense they have to come to you? What does the Bible say? Mark 11:24-26  says,  

I FORGIVE

God wants us to forgive others so we can be forgiven. He repeats it multiple times. Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 6:37, and Matthew 6:12. Forgiveness is very important to God. Jesus hung on the cross and said God forgive them for they know not what they do. That wasn’t just for the ones at the cross. It was for everyone! Jesus forgave us at the cross before we were even born. In chapter 11, John Bevere says, “A person who cannot forgive has forgotten the great debt for which they were forgiven. When you realize that Jesus delivered you from eternal death and torment, you will release others unconditionally.” He also goes on to say, “You may say, I love God. I just don’t love this brother who has hurt me. Then you are deceived, and you do not love God, for it is written in 1 John 4:20, If someone says, ‘I love God and hates his brother…whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” Wow! I know forgiveness can be hard, but as John Bevere says, “Would you rather be convicted by the Holy Spirit now and experience genuine repentance and forgiveness? Or would you rather refuse to forgive and hear the Master say, ‘Depart, when you can no longer repent?” I know some offenses can run deep and maybe you feel that person should pay for what they have done to you. But according to the Word of God, that is not your responsibility to take on.  

In chapter 12, John Bever says, “When we seek to correct the wrong done to us, we set ourselves up as judges. But we know: There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another? Do not grumble against one another brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the Judge is standing at the door!” James 4:12, 5:9. John Bevere goes on to say, “Often Jesus likened the condition of our hearts to that of soil. We are to be rooted and grounded in the love of God. That seed of God’s Word will then take roots in our hearts and grow in the Fruit of the Spirit.” He goes on to say, but the ground will produce only what is planted in it. If we plant seeds of doubt, unforgiveness, and offense, another root will spring up in the place of the love of God. It is called the root of bitterness. Bitterness is a root. If roots are nursed-watered, protected, fed, and given attention, they increase in depth and strength. If not dealt with quickly, roots are hard to pull up. The strength of the offense will continue to grow. Now instead of righteousness being produced, we will see a harvest of anger, resentment, jealousy, hatred, strife, and discord. Jesus calls these the evil fruits in Matthew 7:19-20.”  

GET UP!

What do we do to escape this trap the devil has set for us? We escape it by exercise. Yes, I said exercise! I know you are thinking, “What the heck, Christie! What do you mean by exercise?” In chapter 13, John Bevere shows us the Greek word in Acts 24:16 for exercise is askeo. Vine’s Expository Dictionary defines exercise as “to take pains, endeavor, exercise by training or discipline.” Let me break it down. When we exercise, we are bringing our bodies into submission to our wants. Does the body want to exercise, what about your spirit? No, not really sometimes. So why and how do we do it? We do it by discipline, we take our thoughts of “I don’t want to get up” under control. We make the decision to get up or not. We exercise our mind by keeping it disciplined to get up and do it. Our mind only gets stronger. In turn, our body gets stronger. We make the choice to keep pushing further and further in disciplining our bodies. This is the exact same thing we do with our minds daily. We discipline our minds to escape the trap the enemy has set for us. By doing this we are exercising our hearts and obeying God.

John Bevere states, “Our degree of maturity determines how well we will handle an offense without injury.” So, what is step 1 to this healing? As with exercise, you can’t just start lifting 50-pound weights without starting somewhere smaller and working up to that. John Bevere says, “The first step to healing is to recognize you are hurt. Often pride does not want us to admit we are hurt and offended.” Oh My! That first step is a doozy. No one likes to admit that. I mean, I know I don’t. That makes me vulnerable. But once we are vulnerable, we are then accepting to the healing God wants to do. We are open and willing. But that is just the beginning. You can’t go from a week’s worth of lifting 10-pound weights and then just jump into 50-pound weights the following week. It is a process. A process of training and discipline. This is the same thing you have to do spiritually. You are going to have to fight off those thoughts of what was done to you and exercise your spirit to let that forgiveness take place. It is a journey. But that journey is so rewarding. Just imagine the freedom you will experience. Remember, everyone’s journey is different. Everyone will have their own process. You can’t judge your success on what your mom and dad did or what your friend did or what your mentor did. You have to fully rely on God and follow him on your journey.  

Now that we are fully relying on God to help us through this forgiveness, what do we do now? In Matthew 18:15 it says,

I’M SORRY

John Bevere shows us in chapter 14 that going to our brother is not supposed to be with a spirit of revenge or anger. The verse is not for condemnation but for reconciliation. He does not want us to tell our brother how rotten he has been to us. We are to go to remove the breach preventing restoration of our relationship. This is what was shown to us at the beginning of this blog. God instructs us to forgive those who hurt us, so he forgives us. We are made in his image and should follow his instructions and be like him. John Bevere states, “If we keep the love of God as our motivation, we will not fail. Love never fails. When we love others the way Jesus loves us, we will be free even if the other person chooses not to be reconciled to us.” Walking in love might not always be accepted by every person. But love never fails and maybe you are the one that is planting a seed for that person and your seed will grow if it is planted. The type of fruit it bears depends on what you planted the seed with.  

To sum this all up. Offense is a trap of Satan. It is something that can grab ahold of us easily. It is our responsibility to recognize it and decide if we are going to water those roots and let bitterness rise up or if we are going to exercise our spirit and give our life to God and let healing come in. Philippians 1:9-11, emphasis added,  

Christie Coffman

I have attended CommonGround church for the past 12 years and am thankful for the first day that I stepped inside its doors. Through the leadership of the church I have grown so much in my walk with Jesus. I have gone deeper and I have matured so much. I continue to grow and look forward to go deeper in my love for God. I have a passion for serving people and God. I have been a part of many teams; kids, coffee bar, greeting, food pantry, women’s leadership, prayer team. I currently serve in the 4-5 yr old room in CG lil’ Kids, Prayer team and Intercessory Prayer team, and part of the Women’s Leadership team. I have the pleasure of running the cleaning team for the church. I’ve enjoyed that for the past 11 years.

I work at Tulsa Public Schools, Child Nutrition department in charge of Free/reduced meals and the IT things of Child Nutrition. My daughter, Aspen, graduated from Will Rogers High School in May and also from Tulsa Tech with a photography degree. She is strong and mighty and going to do amazing things. I have also have two step sons, that are grown with families. They are U.S. Marines and I couldn’t be prouder of them.

I enjoy crafting, hanging out with friends, hiking, listening to worship music and spending time with Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:13, You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with your whole heart.